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Learning from the Horse - April 19 - Happiness

Learning From the Horse – April 19 – Happiness 


What makes you happy? Do you know?

Are you happy?  Is any lack of happiness because you place other’s happiness before your own? Is that sustainable?

When we lie about how we feel, we make the other person a liar by proxy, because their actions and opinions cease to be genuine, if we are not.

I spent a long time denying my own unhappiness. A long time going through the motions trying to keep all the balls in the air despite a growing sense of discontent. But change is hard. Making changes to your own life, to yourself, to your happiness potential, will often involve putting yourself first. Do you feel worthy enough to put yourself first?  Do you believe you deserve happiness?

Earlier this year I had to put myself first. And it was hard in so many ways.

But by making the choices I made, and by allowing myself to have a voice again, I learned so much and went on such a journey, I can’t help but feel I made the right choice. The universe helped of course, as it often does, the little signs, the little unexplainably coincidental occurrences that are present at the perfect moment, when your decisions need that extra bit of validation.

If you are not comfortable in your own skin, you will struggle to elicit or sustain the same in others. Think about the really positive people you interact with, those who are like “soul food”, the ones who can take a nervous horse and sooth it merely by their presence, can fill you up and make you feel whole for a second. Those people tend to be, although not exclusively, the ones who have worked hard on themselves. Have looked into the abyss and found a way to give, without giving away.

I used to think I could aspire to be one of those people by working hard. Hard work my way through anything. If you aren’t sweating, you don’t matter. But the inevitability is that if you work so hard, and give away so much of yourself that you have nothing left inside, you won’t be able to help others, because you haven’t been able to help yourself.

When you come to a horse with all yours fears and weaknesses, and a lack of connection with yourself, your connection to them will be empty. When you come with genuine altruism, because you have it to give, because you know who you are, your connection will be more fulfilling for you both.

The times when I have the most success with my own and my clients horses, are the times when I feel comfortable with who I am, and the times when I am aware life could make me a shit sandwich at any moment, but I consciously choose happiness anyway, and know that I deserve it.

I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know enough yet to know if I have stumbled across the formula. But I do know that when I allow myself to be valuable, the value I can dispense to horses and humans alike, seems to be limitless.